NFL and Referees Reach Agreement, World Can Finally Continue Spinning

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Mere days after one of the most embarrassing officiating disasters in the history of the sport, the NFL has come to terms with the referees’ union, ending the national nightmare and allowing us to complain about fully qualified officials now. The word is that by Thursday, the full-time referees will be back to work.

The one downside here of course is that we’ll no longer have a reason to make fun of the NFL. All we’ll have left to mock are the ever-prevalent safety restrictions on players, Roger Goodell’s receding hairline, Raider fans, and the holy triumvirate of difficult wide receivers no one wants composed of Chad Johnson, Terrell Owens, and Plaxico Burress.

Our football world will return to normal come Thursday’s barn-burning matchup featuring the Ravens and the Browns. Instead of focusing on the officials thinking that “Block in the Back” is the newest Ben and Jerry’s flavor, we can now make bets on how many interceptions Brandon Weeden will throw this week. Football’s officially back!